One of the many memorable moments in my favorite show ever, Sex and the City, is when after days of stewing over some guy, it finally dawns on Miranda that he’s just not that into her. At this point she smiles and you sense her new found freedom.
The rejection wound has lived in varying degrees in myself and so many women I know, causing endless hours of wondering when he’s going to call, why he only sent a thumbs up emoji rather than a heart, or why he was so into us last week and now he’s acting different! When the rejection wound is triggered it’s as if the mind has been injected with really bad steroids that cause over analysis of every microscopic detail the man has done or not done.
That tender part cannot bear for some dude to not love us the way we long to be loved, reflecting our unmet needs as children. I must admit that in the past I’ve felt rejected by guys I was not even into just because they rejected me. The rejection wound is a painful bastard that has helped so many women I know to wake up to their own power and self love because it will continuously rear its ugly head until its teachings are complete. And as you discover the love inside of your own heart, you notice that a love story that used to take months to get over takes a couple of days. Eventually you’re just able to shrug your shoulders and say, “he’s just not that into me, next.”
The last step in healing the rejection wound is gratitude. When we can truly feel grateful for every human who has rejected us, we’ve solved the puzzle. Because the rejection wound in reality is a gift that leads us to our self sovereignty. As we learn to nourish and show up for ourselves, we become unshakable and those boring stories of self doubt and abandonment disappear. When someone is not that into you, you’re not bothered. Now don’t underestimate the amount of time it can take to truly heal the rejection wound. Sometimes you may think it’s gone for good and suddenly you find yourself in another twisted love saga. It’s ok! It’s just another layer falling off so that your big beautiful heart can shine brighter and can meet people who can see it and honor you.
He’s just that into you. Move on!
(Obviously men also carry the rejection wound, but it seems to be more pronounced and cause more wildly ridiculous mind clutter in women.)